Monday, November 14, 2011

Is It A Crime?: Cheating



There are two kinds of cheating in my book. There is the Crime of Passion cheating in which two people where in the same place at the same time and the lust and the alcohol took over and you just couldnt stop yourself and there is the pre-meditated cheating in which you went out of your way to disrepect your significant other. I mean you sent text messages (sexting), e-mails, smoke signals trying to set up the infidelity. Now both, of course are totally unacceptable and if you're single you can just choose to move on and shoot the deuces. BUT!!!!! What if you're married, I am not sure I could just throw in the towel without thinking some things through first. Now The Crime of Passion Cheating I can understand more because it is a sin of the flesh which means we need to go to church more and receive some good word to help him yield from temptation....but boy OH boy, that Pre-meditated cheating is worth leaving for, because you had ample of enough time to nip it in the bud but DID NOT!

Then what's the use of getting back with someone who cheats knowing it will never be the same. The dynamic of the relationship will change and often times not for the better! Rarely people grow closer due to infidelity.

So what would you do? Would take him or her back? share your story~

Friday, November 11, 2011

Everybody Hurts....



As we look for the perfect mate we often talk about how he needs to look, how tall he needs to be and what type of job or education we would like for him. vIn looking at these superficial characteristics of a "good man" we often do not pay attention to the actual make up of what makes him "good". Every woman may have different tolerance level but in the end, we should all agree that the man should not harm a woman.

Last night I received news that my little cousin, who's really not so little anymore was shot in the head by her boyfriend. I am left wondering did she have signs of what type of person he was, and did she ignore them? When they got into their first argument did he ever call her out of her name? How did he treat his mom? How did treat other women? These are important questions because that one question could have been the one thing that saved her life.

Then I think that what could I done as a family member to help choose more carefully. What can I do as a citizen of the world to prevent more domestic deaths. Can I teach girls early on their worth and their value is much more important than having a man who will not value you your life.

We must do better. I must do better and helping. It starts today!

So ask you what are some of the actions or things we can do to help the next generation to choose wisely and value their life? or What are some of the warning signs to run from a relationship?

Monday, November 7, 2011

Stuff that NEOS do!




I saw an event coming up in Dallas called the Dallas Alumni Greekshow, and I remember how it felt when I just crossed AKA back in Spring 99, from The BreathTaking Beta Tau Chapter at LeMoyne Owen College. I remember as soon as I crossed I was deemed "STEPMASTER", and boy where we a forced to be reckoned with under my leadership (<------me tooting my on horn). Then I realized it's 2011, and I am officially considered an "OLD Head", but real talk I still got it. If I wanted to I know I can still out step the best of these young whippersnappers (<--proof that I am old).

I digress, talks amongnst yourselves, here I will give you a topic, The Dallas Alumni Greekshow will be an event to see for the true old heads, which Sorority or Fraternity will take it all? DISCUSS!


So back to the originally topic, After thinking about my glory days, I started to think about things NEOs did that its hard for us old heads to come to grips with, like:

Stuff Neos Do:

1. Wear too much paraphenalia
2. Constantly refers "my line sisters" or "The Bros"
3. Turn every song the DJ plays into a strut off
4. Don't have friends outside of the Organization
5. Take Fraternity and Sorority differences a little too serious on the yard!
6. Lives by the stereotype of the Organization.
7. Recite "Invictus" too damn much, to prove you PLEDGE (when anyone can learn that really)
8.Quick to wanna pledge someone else.
9. Think your shit don't stank!
10. Think the "Old Heads" should speak to you since you're new (that will be the other way around).


That's a short list.....but what else would you like to add "OLD HEADS"......at any rate the Old Heads will be getting together March 17th in Dallas, Texas for the Dallas Alumni Greekshow, 7p,-10pm

For more information:
EMAIL DALLASALUMNIGREEKSHOW@GMAIL.COM

***ADVANCE TICKETS TO GO ON SALE SOON**

***VENDOR/SPONSORSHIP OPPORTUNTIES EMAIL

DALLASALUMNIGREEKSHOW@GMAIL.COM

FOR MORE INFORMATION CALL:

972-998-3879 OR 214-470-0916

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Computer Love......



Yes,I may be falling for the man I never met. I met this guy online.__________ (<----Insert Judgment here). Yes, that's right online but he doesn't live on the same state as I do. The first time we talked was via e-mail, and right away we got each other's communication style. I could tell he was just as quick witted and smart as me. We exchanged phone numbers and began to talk more and more. The more we talk the more closer it seems we become. He says sweet things to me, and I accept them, but in the back of my mind I wonder is it just a part of a game. Does every girl get's this treament or is it something about me that has him to let his gaurd down. Is it because I am so far away and by default I am not able to be so attached?

I will meet the man I am falling for in a month, he's coming to see the Dallas Cowboys (or cowtricks or cowgirls as most would like to call them) play Miami Dolphins (His favorite team). Will we crash and burn or will the chemistry still be there? I hope....

Have you ever fallen for someone your never formally met? Is it possible? Is Chemistry only a physical trait and not mentally? Tell me your thoughts and share your stories....

Spitting Game........




You don't wanna fall in love with me, because falling in love with me and accepting that responsibility means things in your life will automatically change. You can't love me and be the same dude you always been. Loving me is a reponsibility, it comes with being better than you have ever been. You have to pull yourself up by your boot straps and understand that the status quo is not an option. When you love me, you will love like you never loved before. The love I give is so strong, it will give you power to make a difference in the world. I need that C.E.O. love, not that, clean up on aisle 9 love. See you don't wanna fall in love with me, my love requires you not to be lazy it gives you ENERGY. I got that "It gives you WINGS" kinda love, not that "You should had a V8" love....

See I understand if you must move, because my love makes you do things you may not be ready to do...I won't let you love me in the least, I got that maximum love...Naw, you don't wanna fall in love with me....

Random spitting game is an art form, sometimes it's something to laugh at but sometimes it's just a true statement that came out cold as ice..What's the coldest thing you ever said to someone or the best game you ever witness or heard....Come on let's spit some game


Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Old Men and Worms



Now I don't know where the myth came from or where it started, but it was an old tale that if a young girl messed with a old man that she would get worms...Now That has got to be the most funniest thing I ever heard in life, but it did deter me from dating older guys for a long time. What is considered old anyway? I have students that say I am old and I am only 32. The oldest guy I dated was 40 when I was 29 and let me just tell you it grossed me out, not that he was 40 but he just act old and he didnt act that way when I met him. Maybe it was a figment of my imagination because 40 isnt an old age. I mean let's face it, Will Smith, Denzel, Shemar Moore, Tyson Beckford are all over 40, and like Beyonce sings, "I told my friends you can GET IT"....and guys what about Stacey Dash, Jada Pinkett Smith and Lisa Raye all over 40 as well...and I don't even have to ask about whether or not they can get it from you...lol. But what about Cicely Tyson? or Tina Turner? and ladies what about Morgan Freeman or Harry Belafonte? would you even consider it?

So my question today is what is too old for you to date? What is your cut off? or Do you not have a cutoff and date the person not the age? Share your experience of dating an older person and why?

Monday, September 12, 2011

The Perfect Mate?!



I was kicking with some friends this weekend and they met a guy that I once dated but we are still cool. Once he left, everyone agreed that brother was FIONNE (that's fine for none African American Dialect speakers). I mean he was tall, nice caramel complexion with and a nice lean muscular physique, but the brother the seem two sandwiches short of a picnic, he was a pie with two slices missing, he wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer...well you get my point! He was fine with no real substance.

So one of my friends said "Well he fine, but he doesn't seem to be too smart. You can't have it all. Either you're gonna date a guy that's fine who is not that smart or a guy that is smart and not that fine"

That got me to thinking that most women would date the guy that was not so fine but smart while guys would probably date the girl that is not so smart but FINE. I could be wrong, but I know I could never take a fine guy who is not smart seriously. They are the Mr. Right Now and not my Mr. Right.

Have you ever dated a woman or man who lack the brains but had all the beauty? Did you take them seriously? Or have you dated a smart woman or man but couldn't get over that you werent attracted to them? Or can you have BOTH?

Friday, September 9, 2011

Lovers and Friends by Nylajar



A friend of mine told me the other day that a man doesn’t want to be cool with his woman, you know, she becomes his homie because that is the one woman he can never lie to and the one woman he is afraid of losing control over…I’m a little confused on that one because most men say they want a woman who is his best friend and many women say the same. I personally feel like a woman should be able to kick it with her dude and his homeboys and I think a dude should be able to kick it with his girl and her homegirls from time to time. However, many say you shouldn’t mix the two worlds but I disagree. I think a woman should be able to hit the bar and watch a game with her man from time to time and he should be able to hit the mall with her from time to time to go shopping or even hit up the nail shop. They should be able to do some of the things that same-sex friends do…but is that too much for a relationship? I personally think that a man should be able to hang out with his boys alone, she hang out with her girls alone from time to time but they can intertwine the two sometimes. However, I think sometimes the friends are the ones that have a problem because they will say, “Dang, why is he bringing her with him to watch the game, this is a man’s world” or “Dang, why she bringing him shopping with us?”….As long as you balance your alone time with your together time, should it be a problem that you hang out with your girl/gal’s friends from time to time?

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Sex with the Ex by Nola Darling



Women and Men, remember that time when you broke up with a guy or girl (or they broke up with you and you just don't want to admit it....lol). Then you find out that they moved on to someone else...and so quickly after you broke up. Then something happens!, they call or text you out of the blue saying how much they missed you or thought of you...You think to yourself, "It must not be working out to well with the new boo?".. He or she wants to see you, and of course you oblige because now your EGO is involved. You wanna see if you can have this person if you still wanted. You want to see how faithful your ex is when he or she is in another relationship. Then you see the ex and it's like nothing changed, chemistry is still there, of course and you have SEX with the EX. Now for you it's not really a big deal because you're not promised to anyone, but they are.. Once it's over you get this sense of relief. You think to yourself..If it's that easy for you to cheat with me then it must have been that easy when we were in a relationship. Then you realize, that the EX wasn't a keeper afterall. Now this in now way shape or form is healthy for anyone to indugle in, but it happens.. From this simple turn of events you then realize that, he or she was actually the Best Thing You Never Had!...

So peeps have you ever been in a similar situation? Where you the Ex that cheated with your old boo?

Friday, September 2, 2011

Confession Friday's: Getting even




Let's face it, sometimes love stinks. People say all the good there is about loving someone but there is a lot of bad sometimes too. When you love someone but it's not working out the way love should, that person ends up pissing you off and you say and do some stuff/things that you did out of anger or disgust!

Let's be real, we all have done something to a person we dated, love or smashing to make them mad, angry or just plan to get even!

So everyone sign in as ANONYMOUS and share the bittersweet things you did while dating someone.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Can We Just Go To The Courthouse Already??? by Asimplejoy





Can We Just Go To The Courthouse Already???

“He’s always doing things with his kids.” The statement that my ex’s soon to be ex-wife said to him. One of the many reasons why she is saying it is time for the marriage to come to an end. Ok now they have 3 children (she has one from a previous relationship) a nice home, both gainfully employed and pretty good family life. But she has decided to leave him for a guy that has 3 kids by 3 different women and the latest he had recently in the midst of their “relationship”. Which I have yet to understand how you can possibly have a relationship while still married?.........not saying that you can’t sleep with someone outside of your marriage but how do you actually define that as a relationship? Well while talking to him because he was taking it pretty hard because he really loves his wife, kids and have become accustomed to his family life. I told him please please tell her to call me because I would love to warn her that there is NOTHING in these streets for her…………… I can totally see her months or even a year from now wanting to come back. Me personally I think she is absolutely nuts and I don’t want her to find out the hard way but give me a break!!! Would you take her back? Do situations like this affect your outlook on marriage?

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Dating 101



I sitting thinking about the single lifestyle and how it can be complex if you been out of the single game for a minute. You have to readjust your way of thinking if you are a neo to single life and that's just not one sided that goes for men and women. So I decided to help my plurally challenged (single) peeps. Here are some tips you should chew on before you began dating again:

1. Do NOT sleep with anyone you can't see yourself having children with! If they are annoying but the sex is good, keep it moving! I rather have mediocre sex with a good person than sex with one that will drive me crazy and then 9 months later a baby enters the picture and now you're stuck with this person for 18 plus years....

2. Do NOT talk badly about your EX. I don't care if he or she was the scum of the earth, move on. No one wants to be with bitter person. If you find yourself in a situation where he or she ask about your past relationship just be easy.

3. Do NOT seem overly eager to go out on a date. I mean it makes it seems as if no one ever ask you out EVER. Now sure you may be excited about your new prospect but save that energy for the actual date.

4. Don't act like you broke! This just means ladies don't act so eager to go out to dinner like you can't buy your own meal and men don't try and dodge taking a lady out to dinner because you think that's all she wants. Ladies if it's not about the money for you make suggestions of things you all could that doesn't cost money. This will impress him and Men be creative not every date has to fall inline around the lunch and dinner hour. Why not go for yogurt? (ladies love yogurt).

5. If you got nice things, quit infusing those "nice" things in to the conversation. No one cares that you drive a Mercedes, have a flat screen tv, you rock gucci, prada or Louis. It comes off as pretentious and it's NOT sexy. It also makes you seem that your personality is lacking.

6. Don't act like you're in relatioship because you went on more than one date. If he or she does not call you back then let it roll off your shoulders. No one is committed to no one and you should be dating multiple people anyhow. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Men have mastered this art but women we should take notes.

7. Do NOT invite your date over to your home until you have been dating at least a month. It just gets too messy. There is a level of trust on both sides that need to exist before this happens. You need to have some since of does this person has potential to last.

8. Brush up on your conversation skills. There is nothing more annoying than to have a non conversation, conversation with someone. Look at the news, read a book, or find our what the other person likes and learn about it a little. You can't win over any hearts with boring conversation!

Okay these are just a few, but I think there are more you can add to the list tell us what should be added to the dating rules?

Happy Belated Birthday Michael Jackson (RIP)

Monday, August 29, 2011

Honey I'm Home



HONEY I’M HOME…………By Asimplejoy

So I was talking to this guy last night and we were talking about relationships. And I asked him when was his last relationship? He told me when he first moved to the area he dated this girl for about 6 months and she wanted a relationship but he wasn’t ready because he had just relocated. So I said after her I bet the next chick became your girlfriend and I am willing to bet that it was quick. He was like actually it was I just woke up one day and we were in a relationship. And this was maybe 3 months Iater….WOW!!! I told him that it is pretty funny how you can have one chick that is down for you and all she wants to do is make it official. But on the other hand the other chick wants the same thing but she kept it on the hush hush and she is the one that ends up being your lady. What baffles me is ……what’s the difference between the two women? Just because the other woman didn’t say anything and didn’t mention it you automatically make her your girl? How many people have just “woke up” and were in a relationship? Do people really say “I want you to be my man or woman?” Or is it assumed?


Friday, August 26, 2011

Free For All Friday's



Has this ever happened to You? Maybe not, still painful yet funny to watch. Well it's story book Friday! So please share your random thoughts and stories about your dating life. The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. Share a funny story if you dare :-)

Thursday, August 25, 2011

.....Flattered or too Aggressive?



Written by AsimpleJoy

Soooo………I was talking to this guy that said and I quote “I like black women but I don’t date a lot of black women” of course I wanted to know what he meant and he proceeded to say that “black women act as if they don’t want to approach men or act interested.” And I thought to myself interesting because I am a somewhat shy person and I would have no idea really how to approach a man let alone act as if I am available. Ok so the other day I was at a department store and I saw this cute handsome tall drink of iced tea. And of course people that know me know I am not the most social person. But I decided that if we ended up in line together I would say something. Of course we ended up in line together and I used my natural humorous charm to strike up a conversation. To make a long story short he seemed flattered and upon leaving the store he made sure that he was able to bid me farewell………… So my question refers to role reversal, you have men that say a woman should be free to pursue a man? But on the flip side you want the woman to be submissive and not too aggressive so my question is…………….. Do you like it when a woman approaches you? Or do you prefer to hunt?



Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Deuces: Throwing the Deuces after 2 Years



I had a friend that was dating this guy and they really hit it off. Both agreed that they are ready to settle down and only only was dating people who were looking for the same thing. She was 30 and he was 32. In her mind, she had already given herself a date in which he needed to propose within and if he did not, she was okay with moving on. Now don't get me wrong, she did NOT give him an ultimatum, No! She just simply knew in her heart and mind that she knew she could only invest two years to someone who stated they were also ready. See she felt that if both were on the same page mentally about wants and needs that it shouldn't take more than 2 years for him to make a commitment and I agree with that. When those 2 years was up, she moved on and he did not try to win her back, ans she felt like she made the right decision. She is now married to someone else.

So peeps, do you think there should be a time limit on dating? if so, what's yours? or Do you think time limits eventhough it's not an ultimatum is fair?

Soundtrack for the post: Deuces by Chris Brown

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The Disappearing Acts written by Asimplejoy



TheDisappearing Act.....
written by Asimplejoy
Ladies and gentleman alike I will know that we can all relate to this……………….
You are out solo or with friends and a nice lady or fella step to you (or in the fellas case maybe you stepped to her) and they tell you how they liked what they saw and would be interested in getting to know you. You chat it up for a few minutes or even an hour and you think to yourself “Ok this person is cool” so you give them the digits…………… Days later you meet out for dinner or drinks and the conversation gets even better. After a couple of late night conversations you start to think there is some potential so you began to open yourself up to the possibility. A few weeks later friendship starts to blossom and you start to feel more confident in the person you are seeing. You both agree that this is the making of a good friendship and seem to be on the right page.
The next day the phone calls stop cold……………and this person disappears from your life.
Have you ever been this person? Not the optimistic one in the story but the one that disappeared? So why did you disappear?????

Monday, August 22, 2011

Too Early? by Coolloyd



Too Early written by Coolloyd

I went out on a date with this very sweet young lady recently and had an interesting experience with who I'll call "Open Olivia". Olivia found it interesting to tell me ALL her business on our second date. While I'm one for openness and honesty. She went on about her last THREE abusive boyfriends, how she and her mom don't get along ever since her step daddy tried to flirt with her. That she did some "dancing" in college but now it's out of her system. How she thinks her son is gonna be a thug like his daddy. I'm sitting here wondering why is she reading me the back chapters of her autobiography, but aside from me labeling her NUTZ and chunking the deuces, it had me wondering, when is the appropriate time to talk about "The Baggage"? I'm sure it's not the first or second date, but I'm also sure it's not at the honeymoon either.

What information should be brought to the table? Should a guy know you had 4 abortions? Did 2 weeks in jail for stabbing your ex boyfriend? Filed bankruptcy so you didn't have to pay your Dillards bill? Kissed a girl (well we'd love to know that one)? What type of stuff should NEVER be talked about?


Friday, August 19, 2011

Is Interracial dating still a sore spot for women? by A Man's Thought



Is Interracial dating still a sore spot for women?
Blog Post written by A Man's Thought

I was taught at an early age to appreciate and love everyone equally...and throughout my childhood I have attended schools with, befriended, and dated (minus Asian women) all types of races. I think love when you find it is a beautiful thing and I feel everyone should experience it at some point in there life.

I have always been an equal opportunity dater. I have gone out on dates with latin women over the past few years but I have not seriously dated anyone outside of a black woman since my high school days. I am definitely open to dating any race if we "click" and it's right for both of us. With that being said, one of my best friends recently became engaged. Over the 15 years that I have known him, he does not discrimate against a certain race or look. He has dated a wide variety of women (size, shape and race), and I'd say at least 75% of them were very attractive. About a week ago he proposed to a white woman who he has been dating off and on for over a year now. Once he posted that information to facebook, I received approximately 8-10 text messages within the next hour from different women who were upset, wanted to know what white women did that black women didn't do, why do black men always become successful then date outside of their race, why do black men choose a white woman who is just "average" looking, etc, etc...

These were all knee jerk reactions, but why? Why can't we just be happy that someone found love no matter their race? Please give your input or any similar situations!

~By A Man's Thought~

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Why Do I Want to Get Married? by Asimplejoy



So I was sitting here watching another episode of “Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?” on Netflix. Yes I love the wedding shows……..and I started thinking to myself. Why do I want to get married??? Is it for the title, is it because I would like to have another child, or maybe just to have someone to come home to that loves and adores me besides “the gecko” that I have in my kitchen (yes my son caught a gecko and we are holding it hostage as a pet?....LOL). I must admit marriage scares the hebegebees out of me……….. but I would still like for it to happen for me one day. For me marriage symbolizes that two people decided to profess before God, family and friends that this is it and no one else compares to the one I got!!!! I grew up with both parents in the household and I saw and experienced the love between a man and wife…..so I refuse to give up on LOVE. But besides the reasons that I listed why do you want to get married or if you are married why did you get married???

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

B.A., MPA! But where's my MRS?


Yesterday I was talking with a coworker and he mentioned that women back in the day went to college to work on their MRS. degree. I first blank stared at him and then realized he was saying that women went to school to get married. Now I can't say that is not true because some women back in the day really had that as their agenda. This subject got me to thinking how many of us women can't be real with what you really want because it is seen as "thirsty" or having an "agenda"? You know you have been there when you first start dating a guy and he ask "What are you looking for?" or vice versa and you shy away from what you really want to say...Why is that?

Now that I am 32 I am not shying away from what I really desire. The next time I get asked that question, I am going to be really real. I will say, "I am looking for a long term relationship that will lead to marriage" Now if that scares him away he didn't need to be there. No one should make you step away from what you truly desire. How many times have you dealt with a man that said "I am not really looking for nothing right now, but if something happens, it happens", knowing full well that you desired someone who is at least on the same page as you. Now that is not to say that you have to marry him, but at least being on the same page will save both of you time in the longterm.

Most of my friends have our degrees that we can hang on the wall, but I have never seen a marriage license hanging on the wall EVER! why is that ? Is this not an accomplishment to be celebrated? It's time out to deny what we want because it seems weak or having an agenda. Walk away from those who don't have your same desire, remember they are the Best thing you never had. I'll start first....

Hi, I am MsClutchPearls and I desire to be a wife!

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The Usual Suspects


In dating, you soon realize that you are really dating the usual suspects. Now what I mean by that is not that they committed some sort of crime, but in dating they usually fall in the mold of certain categories. I am sure men have categories for women as well and no, I am not talking about wifey or jumpoff although those categories exist. I like to think as unique as we are, we all fit some type of mold when it comes to our personality. Now I can't speak in details about women but I can tell you a few usual suspects as it relates to men. Here goes nothing

Mr. Run of The Mill/Mr. Ordinary
He is the guy that really has no special qualities about him.
He is a decent guy but nothing to swoon over but he is datable for the time being.

Mr. Rico Suave
This guy think his shit don't stink because he think he is fine as wine or maybe because he's light skin that he feel like women should flock to him. He stays in the mirror more than a AKA and he think he is the next male supermodel.

Mr. Flimsy
This guys has no backbone whatsoever! You can tell him what to do, where to be and who to be and he is okay with, as long as he can touch the hem of your garment.

Mr. Can You Cook?
As soon as you meet this guy, this is one of his first questions to you. Can you cook? He wants the traditional wife when he gets married but he still wants you to work and split the bills down the middle. He could never be with, Ms. Can you Provide For Me?

Mr. Debate
This dude takes pleasure in debating every notion that comes out of your mouth and for what? no reason at all. He just likes to be disagreeable. Even when he is wrong he will still debate on why he is RIGHT. He even will debate on things you agree on just for debate sake.

Mr. Big
This guy think he is a modern marvel because he has a huge you know what and finds ways to bring it up in the conversation. Case and point, "Most women can't handle what I got" or the famous "I'm not a small brother, regular condoms don't fit me!" and all you're thinking is, WHO CARES?, do you have anything else to offer other than your abnormal organs?

Mr. Brag
This Guy thinks he is the shit because he doesn't have kids, never married and has a job. MAN PLEASE! There is a lot of brothers that have that, but don't think women should bow down to them. Every conversation with a woman he is dating or getting to know he has to bring up this piece of information. As if we are suppose to be bow down on our knees and think he is the second coming of Jesus. Again I say, MAN PLEASE!

So these are just a few, there are a lot more categories. Men and Women share a few you gave encountered over the years.

Listen to Usual Suspects by Rick Ross featuring NAS

Monday, August 15, 2011

Crazy vs. Loco


Is it me? or are people getting crazier. Okay, maybe it's me. It seems like I am meeting my fair share of men who have some type of mental issue. Now I know I could be exaggerating, so let me set the story up of what happened and you tell me if it's just me?

Over the weekend, on Saturday to be exact I recieved a text message from this guy that I haven't been out with in at least 3-4 months. He texts me and says, "Hey I would like to hang out with you later if you don't have plans, but I am going to let you know upfront that I don't have any money to do anything". I look at the text message dazed and confused at first, then I started to laugh cause I thought, "God, you must really want me to write a book about my dating experiences, because you keep letting these situations happen". So I text the guy back and write, "I have plans but I will let you know if anything changes". (....and you know they are NOT!).
He text me back and said, "Don't leave me in suspense and have me waiting all day".

??????????????? <-------HuH? I just said I had plans. I text back and say flat out No, it won't happen because I have plans.

So later that evening I start my night, having a great time and all of a sudden I hear my text message alert, it goes off twice. I pick up my phone and read a message from the same guy from earlier, Yeah that guy, the guy that I said I had plans and would NOT be able to see him. Well this is what the text message read, "Hey, I am not going to be able to continue this situation because I am not happy about the way you treat me. I feel like you should have came and hang out with me and you left me hanging all day. Now I know you are dating other people and I am cool with that because I don't want to be in a relationship but I will not be put on the back burner."

Huh? Huh? Huh? First off, continue what? We don't have anything going and second, have you took your medication? Of course I did not respond. WHY?

I digress.

Is it me? or is he crazy? anyway share a crazy scenario about your dating life.

I think Cee-lo sang it best.....listen to the sountrack for this scenario.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Real Love


Last night before I went to bed I had a thought to come in my head. First it started by question I asked myself. That question was, "Have I ever experienced Real Love?" and by my own definition of what love is, I have to honestly say no!. Don't get me wrong I have given love and sometimes I think I gave too much love out. Some love should be on reserve because I felt like I loved like a wife should love but I was only at girlfriend status. (ponder that for minute). By my definition love is being who you are 100%. Now don't get me wrong I am not saying that love doesn't change you because it most definitely change you for the better if it's real love, but that change is NOT because the person you're dating wants you to change it's because you realized YOU want to change. It's the ultimate sacrifice that we change not because we were asked but because you know this is something you need to change about yourself and you're willing to do it because that person makes you want to do better and be better.

I digress.

Now anyone who knows me, knows that I AM MUSIC! It lives inside of me its part of my everyday and it takes up every hour of my life. I am always singing, always listening and always sharing MUSIC. I looked back on one of my relationships and we did not connect musically at all. It got to a point where I stopped singing, listening and sharing music as much as I would normally. I became someone I did not know and why because we did not connect with something that is a part of me. Now I know you're saying, "It's just music, that's not a big deal!" but you could be so wrong, the things you like and are passionate about shape your personality and your character. He couldn't connect with my passion therefore we couldn't connect because that is who I am. I stopped being who I am, because I wanted us to connect but now I realize that when real love comes we both will LOVE music.

So have you ever experienced real love (real love=reciprocal)?
Listen to Mary J. Blige's Real Love as you ponder that thought~

Thursday, August 11, 2011

What you won't do for love?


Well, it has happened time and time again. People fall in love and then some lose all sense of themselves. Has this happened to you? Go ahead, lie! and say "Never me" The truth is real love is stronger than pride and sometimes you will find yourself putting up with things you said you would never do or doing something for your mate you said you will never do! (get your mind out the gutter) <----Well that too...lol.
As I write this I can't help but think about Bobby Caldwell's song "What you won't do for love"

So tell me what will you NOT do for love or what have you done that you said you will never do? While you ponder that listen to the song below....

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The Single Person's Deal Breaker


If you're like me then you watched the season finale of VH1's Single Ladies on Monday night and if you did you probably felt the same way I did at the end of the show. SHOCKED! The lead character Val had two proposals in one night. One (Quinn)from her ex-boyfriend of which she dated for 5 years and never popped the question hence the breakup and the other from a man (Jerry) that promised her the world but told her he did not want to have anymore children and did not desire to get married (he saw the error in his ways)...That left me wondering about Jerry. What if he never saw the error in his ways and Val settled for just him instead of the things she really desired which was marriage and kids with the man of her dreams. Could he really be the man of your dreams or soul mates if doesnt want the same things you want out of life? So that leads me to another question; What are your dealbreakers/What things will you shoot the deuces for? Do we focus too much on the white picket fence so much that we stand in our own way?

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Homebody? Couch Potato, Cheap or a Freak?



Suzie just met this new guy, they have been talking on the phone non stop since they met and it's getting pretty close to the conversation of making plans. Finally the guys says, "What do you have planned this weekend?" she says, "Nothing much, why, what's up? He then says, "We should get together this Friday and hang out"..Suzie is elated, of course but she plays it cool, afterall a girl can't seemed too excited about a date so she moves on to the next question which is always "Well what would you like to do?" and the answer that comes out of his mouth is the worst response a girl ever wants to hear as it relates to dating....he replies, "We can just chill over your house and watch some movies, you know something low key"....Suzie in her mind closes up the door to her walk-in closet because she was just thinking of what should could wear to wow him and politely says, "I don't think that's a good idea for our first date......"

This type of situation happens everyday in the dating world, but why does it keep happening? Now I know how difficult it may be to be dating in a recession but that's why Groupons exist! and if money is still tight well suggest we meet in a park and walk or exercise together? anything but the dreaded "let's hang out". Now to me sitting in my space is so intimate it means to me that I feel so comfortable with you that I rather just chill with you without leaving the house. It's sacred and that is not the benefit of a newbie, that is the benefit of boyfriend. Some men even have the notion to invite you over to his place and he doesn't even have a nice environment....no big screen tv, no snacks, no furniture and where the hell is the wine?....Or could it be that if he thinks he can get you in his lair or yours that he will get lucky? I just don't know, so you tell me is he a Homebody?, Couch Potato?, Cheap or a Freak? please share your opinions and experiences

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

All my Use- To-Bes Live in Tennessee.........

Now here in Texas they sing a little country song that's goes a little something like this.....All My Exes Live in Texas....But for me I only have one ex that live here. All my use-to-bes live in Tennessee..As I sit here making plans to travel back to Memphis, I think back at all my past Exes that still resides in Memphis. I announced via Facebook that I'm Coming Home Again like Chris Martin sings in Kanye West's HomeComing, about my plans to do just that this weekend...and suddenly all my exes, boos and homey lover friends from the past, hit me up asking me to be a apart of my schedule....I guess moving to another state has got me looking more intriguing. Maybe it's because I'm just not there anymore but its shows me that they want nothing more from me than an opportunity to travel back down memory lane. They want the opportunity to feel the way they use to feel...or me to offer the notion that they still have place in my heart....I represent the girl they let slip away....and they represent weaker mindset of myself....the person I use to be....and they use-to-be a part of my life, but I can not let them be apart of my "Going-to-be"...needless to say there will be no visit with Exes......
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