I had a friend that was dating this guy and they really hit it off. Both agreed that they are ready to settle down and only only was dating people who were looking for the same thing. She was 30 and he was 32. In her mind, she had already given herself a date in which he needed to propose within and if he did not, she was okay with moving on. Now don't get me wrong, she did NOT give him an ultimatum, No! She just simply knew in her heart and mind that she knew she could only invest two years to someone who stated they were also ready. See she felt that if both were on the same page mentally about wants and needs that it shouldn't take more than 2 years for him to make a commitment and I agree with that. When those 2 years was up, she moved on and he did not try to win her back, ans she felt like she made the right decision. She is now married to someone else.
So peeps, do you think there should be a time limit on dating? if so, what's yours? or Do you think time limits eventhough it's not an ultimatum is fair?
Soundtrack for the post: Deuces by Chris Brown
23 comments:
Gooood Morning All.........Hmmm should I be the first to respond???
Well here we go, me personally I think there is a time limit if you remember one of my comments previously i don't believe in giving you two years of my life only to be traded in for a new model. But honestly I see it as you knowing exactly what you are looking for in life....but I do believe everyone is different "just be honest with you" if you know that 10 years is too long then it is too long.....My time limit is 1 year if he doesn't at least ( i said at least) know where this is going after one year then "WRAP THAT SH** UP!!!! Now we just talking about me. I also know that none of us are mind readers so you should be able to talk about marriage and see what their thoughts are and make a decision based off of that. But once you make the decision be willing to stick to it because then it becomes an ultimatum that ultimately you lose out on!!!! PEACE OUT!!!
I agree with ya......Keep it moving!!!! We got to make a decision especially if I am allowing you to play with my senses.
Chances are.... we are mentally and physically involved and I just can't keep playing. Time IS our most valuable resource, so lets not waste it.
NEXT!!! so that we can both get to our Ultimate position in life "Our Happy".
I have no problem wishing you well after 1 committed year in my life. I would never tell my man this- I want him to arrive there and be right there with me. 2 is good but 1 is better.
I think it is good to have a time frame in mind of what you are willing to except. However, I also believe that you should allow God to direct your paths and maybe 1 or 2 years may not be enough. Now I don't believe in 4 and beyond either at this age, sorry deuces. But, it's all relative to an individuals situation. Of course age always plays a factor and if you have talked about it with this man or woman and there's a plan in place then follow the plan and your heart. But if this plan diverts, then it's time to re-evaluate. But I ask this question. If you jump ship too soon and God does have a plan in place for you are you taking matters into your own hands without consulting with Him? And just because you consult with God, are you doing what He wants you to do or what You want to do? How do you know. So I say follow your heart and consult with God and pray you're making the right decision.
Just like a woman!, always want the ring and not the man. If he is good to you and there are no issues then what's wrong with waiting 3 to 4 years?
There is not a time limit on love or relationships.
In due time a person will feel okay i know i am ready for more than what this person has to offer.
My advice is dont settle for less because you will be comfortable with getting less. If you honestly care for that person you will wait!!!
Looking over the previous posts and reading this one..it seems businesses require less qualifications than some of the women in this blog...good Lord...no wonder yall are single...what happened to being happy in a relationship that works...all of these agendas and requirements...could YOU even date yourselves based on everything you need? Do yall keep a black book and go down a checklist of items each time you meet a new guy?
I know lots of people who are in relationships that are happy and there is not a time limit on their love or happiness... If you are happy what is the Rush... where is the Fire!!! Just be happy (especially if he is treating you right)
Women Are From Venus, you must be from Mars? If you have a man it's obvious that you must be bored in your relationship if you have one if you checking out blogs geared towards singles and any business you know with less qualification must be called a STRIP CLUB!
Women Are From Venus, there is no need to attack the person but yet voice your opinion in a decent manner. Now the name of the blog is That's Right!, I'm Single. Not I am sad and I am single. This blog was created for a meeting of the minds, not the meeting of insults.
With all that said, I respect your opinion...be easy
LADIES LADIES THIS IS JUST SIMPLY A BLOG... NO NEED TO GO OFF ON ANYONE... WE ARE JUST SPEAKING OUR MINDS AND HAVING A GROWN-UP DISCUSSION!!!!
let this be Drama free please....
It's funny that Anonymous didnt answer the question at hand...only wanted to throw jabs...its cool..and for the record anonymous..I am not a woman in a relationship that is bored chatting on single sites..I am a single man who sees these comments and realizes more and more why YOU are single and why I wont commit anytime soon based on these responses...lol....good Lord..but straight up...this aggression and attitude is why many a woman will stay single.
AntDog
I couldn't have said it better, AntDog, let's leave the insults and going off on anyone...This is for entertainment and meeting of the minds.
Ms Cluth Pearls thanks for respecting my mind and opinion..I dont know anyone on this blog so I am not insulting anyone or pointing people out..but if the shoe fits and you get all uptight, I assume my question and comments apply to you (I am speaking generically)..so anyway..I am done..carry on!
Women are from Venus
I fully understand every line you typed sad that most people getting up tight... but lets carry-on...
NEXT!!! on 2 the NEXT one like Jay said... LOL!! can i get a Holla Back... Hey !!!
Bottom line if I love a woman... I will wait for whenever she is ready.
Now if I am the one who has been with her for 2 years and i have not made a move and if she pressures me (mostly likely if my heart is with her)
I am in it... Like Diddy at an All white Party!!!
Ant Dog.......hey hollering Back!!! Ok wow step away and then came back and people are acting like we in the south side of Chicago or Crenshaw boulevard people please put your box cutters away.......Anywho my comment is just this: what works for one person does not work for others if you are ok with then you are ok with it but men please don't act like we are crazy for setting a standard for ourselves in dating. Yes of course some lists may be more elaborate than others but dont diss me for upward mobility. Do you stay in the same job for 15 years and never try to move up the ranks NO of course not when you begin the job it was flexible the pay was good and you enjoyed it does it mean you are not happy NO it just means you look for progression. So "Women are from Venus" says that we have more qualifications than a business i tell you like this I can't have sex with my job (business) my business is not going to be the head of my household, I can't have kids with my business and my business not going to hold my hand when we are 80 years old in our matching rocking chairs for forgive us ladies for thinking analytically and logically when selecting a mate. And for the record with any business you always have a set time that you will pull out if their are no profits being made!!!! So whats the difference????........PEACE OUT!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Snappppppppp!, Asimplejoy, has broke it down so it can forever be broke!.....I need a drink after that one! Couldn't have said it better!
Clutching My Pearls!!!!!!!...lol
It seems this is a touchy subject today but as the original post clearly said, after two years nothing and when she left he didn't pursue her. If a man doesn't pursue you after you leave you have to respect that he isn't where you thought you both were. Either one he is letting you go so you can find what you are looking for or two after two years it has dissolved and he doesn't want it like he thought. I had the mental time limit on a relationship and it was clear to me in my mind by the end this man would never change his opinion of our relationship...boy was I wrong.
The problem with mental time lines are that once you (woman) has made up in your mind you are don't if said man has not made up in his mind you are done you are in for a real roller coaster ride. Especially if you mind was only made up because you didn't think you were going to get what you want. The bottom line is you both must be on the same page and that requires open communication. If you both decide this isn't going in the direction you would like no matter what you should end it. When you get involved you state what you are looking for up front, if its marriage say so if it's just a long term companion say so. She might go but someone else might stay.
ITS ALL ABOUT WHAT YOU SETTLE FOR THESE DAYS... MOST PEOPLE MEN/WOMEN SETTLE FOR LITTLE...
Based on how many "Happily married" couples I know, I am okay with NOT settling.
I say men know whether or not they see a future with a woman, and it doesn't take several years to figure that out. A self-proclaimed "former player" told me that after a year, a man will know whether or not he wants to marry a woman. To add to that, I'm a single woman that's a little afraid of marriage and believe that some additional time is necessary to make certain this is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. We all know that marriage is a huge decision, not to be taken lightly and I'm going to ask the tough questions that need to be asked before rushing into anything.
Well said "Ageless Beauty"
Hmmmm.... I want to be honest. I used to go with the flow. I agreed with what the guys on here said that if everything is good why rock the boat. The relationships were great. But after a while something just didn't seem right within. That was several relationships ago. I did an 8 yr stint and he married someone else. I did a 3 year stretch and he said feel free to date others. Wow! What I want you to understand "Women are from Venus" is that sometimes things can be good for only so long. In your heart truly, if God is there in any shape, form or fashion, you will want to stop "being in" that committed relationship and "being of" it. Women by nature and by upbringing are taught that marriage is the ultimate goal. Not as a prize but really to do the right thing because you can't with your head held high stand before God and say I was committed to fornicating with one person and it's cool. You at some point want to make it right in His eyes. While I still don't have a set time frame in mind of when to call it quits I have an instinct NOW of when this is all it's going to be. I don't mean to attack you and that is not my intention. I just want to be honest with what I've experienced. Women have to be the ones to call it quits because if we don't.....
Post a Comment