So I was sitting here watching another episode of “Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?” on Netflix. Yes I love the wedding shows……..and I started thinking to myself. Why do I want to get married??? Is it for the title, is it because I would like to have another child, or maybe just to have someone to come home to that loves and adores me besides “the gecko” that I have in my kitchen (yes my son caught a gecko and we are holding it hostage as a pet?....LOL). I must admit marriage scares the hebegebees out of me……….. but I would still like for it to happen for me one day. For me marriage symbolizes that two people decided to profess before God, family and friends that this is it and no one else compares to the one I got!!!! I grew up with both parents in the household and I saw and experienced the love between a man and wife…..so I refuse to give up on LOVE. But besides the reasons that I listed why do you want to get married or if you are married why did you get married???
16 comments:
I think a lot of people now and days want to get married because marriage is a trend. It's almost like when you graduate from college and get a career that marriage is the automatic next step. I know most men follow that pattern when they feel they have reached a level of success then they are ready.
I want to get married because I believe having a family is the ULTIMATE relationship that shows God's love at work. It's a covenant between God, Man and Woman.
My thoughts on this is I want a life long companion. Someone who I can depend on and share my hope and dreams with no matter what, without any shame. I want an extension to my family, a family of my own. Not to mention I want someone I can care for and share my love since I like being domestic, caring, and in some cases selfless. May sound corny but those are my reason.
So ladies how would you respond to this comment??? If we I am giving you all you want and we have that now without a title..........why do you need the piece of paper????
Marriage is just one of many GOD'S greatest creation. Have you ever been riding home from work and thought, "Oh I can't wait to tell" and then you pause, and think to yourself, I really don't have anyone profound to share this day with. Then you end of calling one of your girlfriends to share the mini success with. This all borders down to marriage being a friendship first. Someone that creates the other half of you. Manhattans said it best, "There's no me without you". I can't wait to say that again about my future hubby!
Quite honestly, I am not into the hype of marriage...so I really am not pressed about marriage, but if it happens, it happens...I want a partner, a companion, a life long friend because you said it, "marrige symbolizes that two people decided to profess before God, family and friends that this is it and no one else compares to the one I got" - so can you not have that without being married? If you confess your love for one another to God, isn't that the only thing that should matter?
Who really came up with the idea of marriage any way? Was this God's law or man's law? Did man make this law to allow people to "claim" each other? I mean we are each other's property, according to law, when we get married. And who benefits most from marriage? Hmmmm, let's see, you spend thousands of dollars to say, "I do" when it's free to tell God. You have to pay more taxes to the government as a married couple than you do as single or head of household and low and behold if you realize this wasn't the one and you have to get a divorce, can we say, the government again gets part of the pie because you have to pay to get a divorce and you will have to pay alimony or child support...even if you are adults about it...because see when you are married, it is mandatory to pay child support whether you come up with an arragement or not.
What if we were to find out that God feels if we find a mate we spiritually connect with and want to be with, we confess our love for one another through is acceptance, than that is marriage? (Just thinking outside the box here...lol).
Quite honestly, I just want a companion, a partner, a man who I can depend on to be there for me when I need him most and I can be there for him when he needs me the most...someone I can walk the park with, hit the bars and watch Monday night football with, someone I can wrestle with and it turn into heated passionate love making, laugh with, make decisions with and be in love with...I personally don't need the title of "Mrs." to enjoy those wonderful things in life. I just need God's love and blessings to do so...
That's just my take on it...but to each its own.... :-)
oops...let me grammatically correct this....What if we were to find out that God feels if we find a mate we spiritually connect with and want to be with, we can confess our love for one another through His acceptance, then that is marriage? (Just thinking outside the box here...lol).
Nylajar..I like and appreciate that response....your response was deep and thought provoking and I don't think I've ever heard a woman break it down that way...
By the way, your last paragraph is ideally what every man wants...
Thanks!
Nylajar..you hit the nail on the head for me!! The "fantasy" of marriage has changed a lot to fit our modern ideas. As for myself I could care less if I get married or not bc at the end of the day a piece of paper means nothing at ALL if you are not fully commited
Marriage has lost a little of its luster over the years but I believe in it totally and completely. I think marriage is sacred and it is something that shouldn't be taken lightly which is why the vows say "till death do us part". I want to be married for similar reasons to most of those who have posted but that paper is important it keeps you from just walking away or at least it should. Ppl profess all the time their love for one another but walk away when the going gets tough. Marriage is supposed to be the next step beyond dating or a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. The level of commitment marriage is supposed to bring says we are now bound in a holy covenant as MsClutchPearls said earlier.
That doesn't mean I'm not scared to death of marriage. Part of me thinks that fear of those words "till death do us part" is part of why I'm not married currently.
Ageless Beauty, do you really believe a piece a paper defines what you have with a person? Isn't it just a legal binding document for tax purposes, for credit purposes, for any legal purpose? Isn’t that paper just saying you said you would be the other responsible adult in a union? What makes a piece a paper more important than your verbal vows to that person and what you promised God? Even married people walk away, they just don't do it as easily because of the legal binding document...that piece of paper says, "legally, I gotta stay in this mess now because it cost too much to get out of it"...lol..all jokes aside though, to be honest, the problem is not marriage, the problem is trying to be with someone who was not planned to be your mate...we get into these relationships and marry the wrong people...so after 5 years you realize, you can't do it anymore and this person is truly not what you thought they would be, you have to stick it out with them for the sake of marriage? Also, people grow throughout relationships and they don't grow "together"...one grows without the other making an imbalance of the relationship...many people marry for this reason we are talking about right now...for the sake of being married and honestly, do they really desire to really be married, or do they desire being able to say "I'm married"...just some thoughts....
Most people say what's the big deal about getting the paper and if that is the case what's the big deal about not getting it. Especially if you are saying it doesn't matter either way and the paper is not going to change the way you feel for me. I say humor me and let's go to the courthouse. All I can say is be honest wit yoself!!! And I agree with Ageless Beauty that PAPER causes you to have a whole new perspective I prefer not to be "tried on" for 2-3 years and then traded in for a new model. I see it as purchasing a home you think long and hard before purchasing a home you research the schools (his or her family history), you look at property taxes (what is his/her debt), new developments (after she get pregnant is she gone get big as a house (shoot men too) or quit their and want to stay at home), you get a home inspection (medical history), you balance finances (financial stability) and then you committ. Once you have made the committment you could leave but there is a lot of red tape involved and you think long and hard before selling unless you upgrade(the new secretary/mail runner been winking at you and your middle age behind lost your mind) or move to a new job (already started a new home somewhere else). Either way it is your choice to decide on marriage or not but just make sure it is "your" choice not what society has caused you to settle on........PEACE OUT!!!!
I agree, I want to be married because that's what I desire and I will let no one tell me that my desires are not important or frivilous in nature. I thinkk as long as you can get a like minded person that believes in the same thing as you do, whether that be marriage or not then you are starting with a great foundation. I don't want to marry that think he needs to marry me, I want to marry the man that desires to marry me!
Oh and I know it is commit and commitment..........sorry!!!!
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