There are two kinds of cheating in my book. There is the Crime of Passion cheating in which two people where in the same place at the same time and the lust and the alcohol took over and you just couldnt stop yourself and there is the pre-meditated cheating in which you went out of your way to disrepect your significant other. I mean you sent text messages (sexting), e-mails, smoke signals trying to set up the infidelity. Now both, of course are totally unacceptable and if you're single you can just choose to move on and shoot the deuces. BUT!!!!! What if you're married, I am not sure I could just throw in the towel without thinking some things through first. Now The Crime of Passion Cheating I can understand more because it is a sin of the flesh which means we need to go to church more and receive some good word to help him yield from temptation....but boy OH boy, that Pre-meditated cheating is worth leaving for, because you had ample of enough time to nip it in the bud but DID NOT!
Then what's the use of getting back with someone who cheats knowing it will never be the same. The dynamic of the relationship will change and often times not for the better! Rarely people grow closer due to infidelity.
So what would you do? Would take him or her back? share your story~
1 comment:
I know what I'm about to say is probably going to get some heads "turnt"...lol...BUT, I think an indication of cheating means two things, the person cheating is unhappy or just a whore no matter how great of a person they are married too or dating...one thing I think many of us fail to do in our relationships is really EFFECTIVELY communicate and be honest because we fear hurting someone's feelings...I have accepted a cheater and trust me, it is not the greatest feeling in the world but I realized no matter how good I was to him, he just wasn't satisfied with one woman and it wasn't my fault...either I was going to put up with it or not...for a while I did because I was sooooo in love with him that I never cared that he didn't make his wrongs right.
I think often times when a person even considers cheating, there are some issues that have not been properly addressed and they end up finding comfort in another person than finding it within their spouse or significant other. I think before giving them the deuces, we need to learn to talk about it and sometimes even accept some of the responsibility of why they cheated (depending on the situation)....you have to pay attention sometimes and we tend not to do that because we get so consumed in our lives that we don't even recognize the problems we have with one another. Sometimes no matter how much a person tries to make it work, it just won't work because the relationship possibly was forced and there was never that "true chemistry" that many of us desire. We married that person for the "ideal reasons" instead of understanding that this person does not complete me nor fully satisfy me.
Everyone has selfish desires of curiosity and they find themselves wanting to "try it out"; some will and some will only dream of it. I am a woman who doesn't mind my man looking at other women in my presence because if he didn't, I would think something is wrong with his ass...as a matter of fact, we can talk about how fine she is together but as long as he doesn't do it disrespectfully like approaching her while I'm standing there or catching each other's eyes but looking is fine...and honestly, it gives me an idea of what I need to do in order to role play....lol...but seriously, I think cheating is wrong but I also think sometimes it can be avoided and if he does happen, it doesn’t have to be the end, it can actually be a beginning.
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