.....Flattered or too Aggressive?

Written by AsimpleJoy

Soooo………I was talking to this guy that said and I quote “I like black women but I don’t date a lot of black women” of course I wanted to know what he meant and he proceeded to say that “black women act as if they don’t want to approach men or act interested.” And I thought to myself interesting because I am a somewhat shy person and I would have no idea really how to approach a man let alone act as if I am available. Ok so the other day I was at a department store and I saw this cute handsome tall drink of iced tea. And of course people that know me know I am not the most social person. But I decided that if we ended up in line together I would say something. Of course we ended up in line together and I used my natural humorous charm to strike up a conversation. To make a long story short he seemed flattered and upon leaving the store he made sure that he was able to bid me farewell………… So my question refers to role reversal, you have men that say a woman should be free to pursue a man? But on the flip side you want the woman to be submissive and not too aggressive so my question is…………….. Do you like it when a woman approaches you? Or do you prefer to hunt?

Deuces: Throwing the Deuces after 2 Years

I had a friend that was dating this guy and they really hit it off. Both agreed that they are ready to settle down and only only was dating people who were looking for the same thing. She was 30 and he was 32. In her mind, she had already given herself a date in which he needed to propose within and if he did not, she was okay with moving on. Now don't get me wrong, she did NOT give him an ultimatum, No! She just simply knew in her heart and mind that she knew she could only invest two years to someone who stated they were also ready. See she felt that if both were on the same page mentally about wants and needs that it shouldn't take more than 2 years for him to make a commitment and I agree with that. When those 2 years was up, she moved on and he did not try to win her back, ans she felt like she made the right decision. She is now married to someone else.

So peeps, do you think there should be a time limit on dating? if so, what's yours? or Do you think time limits eventhough it's not an ultimatum is fair?

Soundtrack for the post: Deuces by Chris Brown

The Disappearing Acts written by Asimplejoy

TheDisappearing Act.....
written by Asimplejoy
Ladies and gentleman alike I will know that we can all relate to this……………….
You are out solo or with friends and a nice lady or fella step to you (or in the fellas case maybe you stepped to her) and they tell you how they liked what they saw and would be interested in getting to know you. You chat it up for a few minutes or even an hour and you think to yourself “Ok this person is cool” so you give them the digits…………… Days later you meet out for dinner or drinks and the conversation gets even better. After a couple of late night conversations you start to think there is some potential so you began to open yourself up to the possibility. A few weeks later friendship starts to blossom and you start to feel more confident in the person you are seeing. You both agree that this is the making of a good friendship and seem to be on the right page.
The next day the phone calls stop cold……………and this person disappears from your life.
Have you ever been this person? Not the optimistic one in the story but the one that disappeared? So why did you disappear?????

Too Early? by Coolloyd

Too Early written by Coolloyd

I went out on a date with this very sweet young lady recently and had an interesting experience with who I'll call "Open Olivia". Olivia found it interesting to tell me ALL her business on our second date. While I'm one for openness and honesty. She went on about her last THREE abusive boyfriends, how she and her mom don't get along ever since her step daddy tried to flirt with her. That she did some "dancing" in college but now it's out of her system. How she thinks her son is gonna be a thug like his daddy. I'm sitting here wondering why is she reading me the back chapters of her autobiography, but aside from me labeling her NUTZ and chunking the deuces, it had me wondering, when is the appropriate time to talk about "The Baggage"? I'm sure it's not the first or second date, but I'm also sure it's not at the honeymoon either.

What information should be brought to the table? Should a guy know you had 4 abortions? Did 2 weeks in jail for stabbing your ex boyfriend? Filed bankruptcy so you didn't have to pay your Dillards bill? Kissed a girl (well we'd love to know that one)? What type of stuff should NEVER be talked about?

Is Interracial dating still a sore spot for women? by A Man's Thought

Is Interracial dating still a sore spot for women?
Blog Post written by A Man's Thought

I was taught at an early age to appreciate and love everyone equally...and throughout my childhood I have attended schools with, befriended, and dated (minus Asian women) all types of races. I think love when you find it is a beautiful thing and I feel everyone should experience it at some point in there life.

I have always been an equal opportunity dater. I have gone out on dates with latin women over the past few years but I have not seriously dated anyone outside of a black woman since my high school days. I am definitely open to dating any race if we "click" and it's right for both of us. With that being said, one of my best friends recently became engaged. Over the 15 years that I have known him, he does not discrimate against a certain race or look. He has dated a wide variety of women (size, shape and race), and I'd say at least 75% of them were very attractive. About a week ago he proposed to a white woman who he has been dating off and on for over a year now. Once he posted that information to facebook, I received approximately 8-10 text messages within the next hour from different women who were upset, wanted to know what white women did that black women didn't do, why do black men always become successful then date outside of their race, why do black men choose a white woman who is just "average" looking, etc, etc...

These were all knee jerk reactions, but why? Why can't we just be happy that someone found love no matter their race? Please give your input or any similar situations!

~By A Man's Thought~

Why Do I Want to Get Married? by Asimplejoy

So I was sitting here watching another episode of “Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?” on Netflix. Yes I love the wedding shows……..and I started thinking to myself. Why do I want to get married??? Is it for the title, is it because I would like to have another child, or maybe just to have someone to come home to that loves and adores me besides “the gecko” that I have in my kitchen (yes my son caught a gecko and we are holding it hostage as a pet?....LOL). I must admit marriage scares the hebegebees out of me……….. but I would still like for it to happen for me one day. For me marriage symbolizes that two people decided to profess before God, family and friends that this is it and no one else compares to the one I got!!!! I grew up with both parents in the household and I saw and experienced the love between a man and wife…..so I refuse to give up on LOVE. But besides the reasons that I listed why do you want to get married or if you are married why did you get married???

B.A., MPA! But where's my MRS?

Yesterday I was talking with a coworker and he mentioned that women back in the day went to college to work on their MRS. degree. I first blank stared at him and then realized he was saying that women went to school to get married. Now I can't say that is not true because some women back in the day really had that as their agenda. This subject got me to thinking how many of us women can't be real with what you really want because it is seen as "thirsty" or having an "agenda"? You know you have been there when you first start dating a guy and he ask "What are you looking for?" or vice versa and you shy away from what you really want to say...Why is that?

Now that I am 32 I am not shying away from what I really desire. The next time I get asked that question, I am going to be really real. I will say, "I am looking for a long term relationship that will lead to marriage" Now if that scares him away he didn't need to be there. No one should make you step away from what you truly desire. How many times have you dealt with a man that said "I am not really looking for nothing right now, but if something happens, it happens", knowing full well that you desired someone who is at least on the same page as you. Now that is not to say that you have to marry him, but at least being on the same page will save both of you time in the longterm.

Most of my friends have our degrees that we can hang on the wall, but I have never seen a marriage license hanging on the wall EVER! why is that ? Is this not an accomplishment to be celebrated? It's time out to deny what we want because it seems weak or having an agenda. Walk away from those who don't have your same desire, remember they are the Best thing you never had. I'll start first....

Hi, I am MsClutchPearls and I desire to be a wife!