SB Ladies,
I have a confession, yesterday I spent all day in bed wondering why was is it so hard for me to have a companion. In my last trist, I met a man who I thought would be a great mate candidate but he turned out to be an ungrateful eye-sore.
Is it Me? (of course not!), I know us educated women are suppose to put up an united "I don't need a man" front! But I can't not lie. I desire to be desired. Let's just be real (ain't that what the young people say?) Keep it real!
Do you think society puts negative connotation on single black women? and is there anything wrong with wanting a great relationships?
8 comments:
In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship. To be in love is a wonderful feeling/experinence. Women and men who front as though they are impervious to the feelings of wanting conpanionship are pretenious. (to me) I beleive both sexes desire to be desired. For men it's just a matter of them mastering themselves and understanding the task at hand when they are "truly," pursuing a woman. They should research the actions of truly pursuing a woman. The pursuit shouldn't stop after 3 or 4 dates that just happen to not end with sexual pleasures. For us women, we should also do the same, master ourselves. Quit with the complains, make thoughts and feelings plain, and show black men that we understand that they need to be nurtured. 'There really is no need for head bumping. It ain't all going to be roses. We all need hugs." -Mary J
Amen, Amen and Amen to Anonymous, I agree with you, most men don't know how to pursue a woman or court like the old people say. It's much more than date.
Women need to Master themselves you are correct. My favorite saying is "I don't reward Expected Behavior" what I mean by that is if you are treating me like the lady that I am, why should you get a cookie or (my cookie) for that? That's what you were supposed to do from jump!
Some women have got men thinking that we should be excited and throw a party for a man opening the car door, or coming to the door to pick us up!
I have started to re-evaluate my reasons for wanting a man.At first I only aproached the idea from a view point of what I want and what I think I need. But when I truly think about it, if I want someone that God made for me, then it cant just be about me and I realize I should be using this "in the mean time" loving me and preparing myself for when this man does come into my life. Because, he will come along. But will I be ready?
Mrs. Fashion, I think that when that man presents himself to you then you will be ready. But beware of false prophets claiming to be GOD-SENT!
Since u all are taking this to the level of "when he comes i will know, let me work on me." If, u are truly set in the will of Allah/God then you will never have to ponder over the fact of is he the one. When one truly seek out the devine wisdom and guidance of Allah/God there is no room to fret because he is GOD! I suggest that when u pray u dont state what you want, u ask Allah/God for what u need (meaning, Allah/God whatever your will is for me, let it be done) because surely he knows. He is the Master of all things and the Creator of good and evil. Ask that he prepares u for your husband and your husband for u.
That's true Culinary Qt, if he is God Sent then there will be no hesistation from the woman. It would natural flow together. However if the woman makes a move(before God) "thinking" she is ready to be in relationship, a lot of wolves in sheep clothing could appear.
I dont think there is anything wrong with wanting a great relationship. I think there tends to be confusion when rules are not established up front. Expecting a man to treat you like a lady is fine, and understandable, when you "act" like a lady. Alot of women feel special treatment is owed to them because a man asks you out. If a man says he wants to get to know you and asks you to meet him at starbucks, does the first thing that comes to your mind A) he is being cheap or B) he wants to talk to me and sit close in a quiet open setting....I think expectations can be unrealistic sometimes from women in general. There is nothing wrong with taking you out sometimes and showing you a good time, treating you like a lady. But every woman is not deserving of that treatment. Every woman is not looking for a good man. Some are looking for a free ride (mealticket/breadwinner, some drinks and food, a sex partner, etc)..so how does a man decipher the real from the fake? It's hard to tell on a few dates...conversation can be great but people take time to expose themselves...I say that to say as men, we can't approach every situation and every woman the same. You don't have to have sex with me because I took you to dinner, told you that you look nice, or opened your door. But I don't have to date you or take you out, or spend extended time with you either because you had sex with me. Let's not get it confused. I pursue you because I feel you are worth pursuing. You are the one I "want" to pursue because you are the "catch" the "prize" in my eyes. Sometimes you are not that.
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