Can We Just Go To The Courthouse Already???
“He’s always doing things with his kids.” The statement that my ex’s soon to be ex-wife said to him. One of the many reasons why she is saying it is time for the marriage to come to an end. Ok now they have 3 children (she has one from a previous relationship) a nice home, both gainfully employed and pretty good family life. But she has decided to leave him for a guy that has 3 kids by 3 different women and the latest he had recently in the midst of their “relationship”. Which I have yet to understand how you can possibly have a relationship while still married?.........not saying that you can’t sleep with someone outside of your marriage but how do you actually define that as a relationship? Well while talking to him because he was taking it pretty hard because he really loves his wife, kids and have become accustomed to his family life. I told him please please tell her to call me because I would love to warn her that there is NOTHING in these streets for her…………… I can totally see her months or even a year from now wanting to come back. Me personally I think she is absolutely nuts and I don’t want her to find out the hard way but give me a break!!! Would you take her back? Do situations like this affect your outlook on marriage?
16 comments:
Hmmm...I would like to talk to her as well. But I'd actually have questions. Like "what am I missing here?" "What is the real reason you want out?" "Is this 3 Baby Momma Dude giving you something you're missing at home? If so, have you truly tried to work this out with your husband? Something is missing from this picture.
I have a male friend who seemed like the perfect husband from the outside looking in. When he told me he was getting a divorce, I was in shock. After hours of talking (days), I finally got to the root of the issue. She left him because he was basically boring. She had to initiate EVERYTHING! He did want to save the ¤arriage and asked about couseling but she refused. Well after going out there, finding nothing (affair failed and then got pregnant by a bum) she tried to come back but it was too late.
All I can say is make sure you've done everything before you leave.
Unless I was a close friend of the person leaving the relationship, I would not give my two cents. The worst advice or opinion is the one not asked for.
Although its easy to make an assumption on the situation based on the facts that have been given, we dont know her side of the story or all of the facts. All we think we know is she leaving a great situation for a less desirable one. What sounds good on paper isn't always good in real life. With that being said, I dont think this person needs to be told anything. There is nothing anyone can say that she doesn't already know. If she is done with the marriage, let her leave.
That too is so true MJ.
I so agree with RIP MJ. Sometimes we have to learn to keep our opinions to ourselves. There are always two sides to every story and I am learning the less you say and the less you share is better. People will have you thinking and feeling so many ways about how to handle situation due to their emotional thoughts and views on life. I experienced that first hand. All you can do is pray for others and be there for them when they need you, because the only people that truly knows the whole picture are usually the "the two" that are involved. I had an associate that called me about some issues and after I dissected all my thoughts I felt I was out of line and had to apologize, even though it was harmless, but sometimes just listen and shut your mouth is what "I" have to do. As far as the couple at hand, sending up a prayer that GOD's peace will encampt them beacause I cant judge them.
@ Uaintevinred_e I agree you have to make sure that you have done everything and I think what plays a role in their situation is that she never had a youth she got pregnant young and moved from home to another home with him. But what i think a lot of people forget is the vow that they take and that is for Better or For Worse!!!! Outside of fidelity you should work on your marriage or else don't pursue it. It is easy to say they are boring or sex is not good but you knew that upon marrying them. You have to be honest with yourself and divorce should not be the option..........
@RIP MJ... i disagree I think that the worse advice is given by someone with ill intentions. But then it is still just advice and it is up to the person to take it. I think nowadays marriage is discarded like a piece of gum and people need to take responsibility for the decisions they make and not want to jump ship just because a bigger ship passes by.
I truly agree with MJ. When I was married, my ex wife and I dealt with issues like every other couple. Well one particular issue we had, she apparently felt the need to share with her friends. I saw a few of her friends out at a happy hour once and they voiced their unwanted opinions to me...although I was VERY heated and wanted to go off on them because they had no clue of my side of the story, I did not.
But when one of her friends saw me in a Sprint Store and approached me and voiced her opinion, I blew my fuse. I dont like to discuss personal things from my relationship with others unless I choose to talk to them, but I certainly did NOT want or need people who I am not close to telling me what kind of man I am! So needless to say after I lashed out at the friend in the Sprint store, she apologized, because it never crossed her mind that I had a side to the story....and from that point on, no more problems with friends! lol.
I agree with everyone about not judging etc. etc. but the real question was Would you take this person back? And does this ever affect your outlook on marriage. I tell you people are ready to argue a point but it was merely a tool to start some conversation.....And yes it is funny how you shouldn't give advice but everyone gave me advice............LOL
Yes, I agree with Asimplejoy. The questions from today's post are as follows: Would you take her back? Do situations like this affect your outlook on marriage?
So to answer the question: I wouldn't take this person back because once it is final in my book things are final.........And yes this does sometimes affect my outlook on marriage and I have to constantly tell myself everyone is different to make sure that whoever i decide to marry that "I" decided to marry them and "I" feel that they are right for me and want I need in my life........
In this case you asked for our opinion so you got what you asked for! lol!
As for would I take a person back, its too many unknown factors to say. But I think reconciling a situation is always a possibility no matter how bad I think it is.
LOL @ RIPMJ I got what you wanted to share with me but i understand when somethings hit home you have to use any outlet you can to get your point across..........I would suggesting calling that person and telling them how you feel.......LOL
Im gonna suggest I take my belt off and chase you down the street Asimplejoy! lol!
And if you do that would be the most excitement I have in awhile.....LOL Unless you a guy and you were a size "small" belt........LOL
Lol...@ Asimplejoy
Well alright then "asimplejoy" this is conversation going on.We can have our say to (lol) Honestly, I don't know all the specifics so can't say until I am in those shoes. I have been married before, so I can relate to a man's thought, yes that happened to me as well. I had to change circles until I was able to move forward. So on this note....I am quiet but great thoughts folks!
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